Marriage Challenge

Introduction

As I will repeatedly mention in this blog, as the wife, it is solely your responsibility to improve your marriage. You must put in all of the effort. So as a guide, I have created an amazing seven-day marriage challenge! Let's get WILD!

Day 1 - Verbal Praise

Remember ladies, this is a challenge, meaning that it’s not going to be easy. So today your first difficult task is to tell your husband something you like about him! Tell him how intelligent he is, how masculine or even (if you’re feeling really spicy!) how attractive he is! (hehe!) Watch his reaction! You’ll likely receive something like “thanks, babe,” or “that’s nice” or “ ‘kay.” By initiating verbal complements, you are establishing communication between the two of you, which brings you both together. Remember, it is ESSENTIAL that you do not bring up concerns, complaints or womanly emotions. This will bring up another argument, creating more disconnection. So don't do that! By following these steps, these issues will temporarily disappear. Trust the process. 

Day 2 - Physical Touch

Your husband’s ass is the metaphor for your marriage. It is your job as the suffering wife to hold it together tightly. Any sort of intimate physical contact with your husband is probably unnatural to you, which makes it challenging, but this is why it’s called a marriage challenge! It is essential you practice physical touch so you get used to it and over time, you’ll somehow learn to love it. It is obvious I am not a therapist. Anyway, do something spicy like holding your husband's butt tenderly and count for twenty seconds to await a reaction. This will bring you physically closer together as it reminds your husband that he only gets to touch you and will stop him going astray.

Day 3 - Servitude

Today, you have to do something that you’ll feel some resistance towards- treating your husband nice. Remind him that you are subservient to him and remind yourself that the purpose of The Wilderness!™ is to be broken down and refined into the perfect submissive wife. Fill HIS cup, not yours. Make him his favorite meal for once. Brush your hair and look pretty for him coming home. Let him build that sex dungeon he’s always wanted. Take your submission game to the next level!

Day 4 - Secret Notes

Leave him a short note of all the things you love about your husband, so it will be rather short. Keep the grammar and spelling simple because he needs the ego boost. Leave it somewhere super obvious where he will find it later: his wallet, under the toilet seat, in his smelly shoes so he wonders what the heck is going on with his sock while he drives to work.

Day 5 - Take it to the Bedroom

Remember, this is a challenge and this is probably something you’ve never done- initiate intimacy, if you know what I mean! I know men are all bad in bed and never think about our pleasure, am I right, ladies? So it won’t last long. Approach him with boldness! Be spicy! Ignore your complex feelings of shame because I am not a therapist. Ignore the lack of orgasms. The whole point of The Wilderness!™ is to please him always in every way, even if it’s a mediocre experience at best for you. Maybe get in the kitchen and cook some supper afterwards. Also, don’t forget to brag on social media about how much action you’re now getting.

Day 6 - More Praise

Does your husband ever praise, complement or encourage you? Well maybe it’s because you’re not praising him enough. So make sure to reinforce your husband’s delusions by unconditionally supporting him and praising everything he does to the highest Heavens. Never EVER question his ambitions or actions. If you don’t praise him enough, he might feel insecure. Your husband’s feelings are your responsibility to control and regulate. 

Day 7 - A Special Date

Now for something you basically never ever do since raising so many toddlers- planning a date night because, let’s face it, your husband isn’t going to do it. So bring yourselves closer by planning an evening together. Maybe it’s a spicy night in. Maybe it’s getting a McDonald’s shake through the drive through and vlogging in the car. Go bold and watch a movie together at home!

Reflection

How has my marriage been considerably improved long term?

Have I changed my husband?

Has my husband filled my cup?

Have I actually moved along my The Wilderness!™ journey?

Am I actually happier?

Why does God let atrocities happen? Does he even exist?

Was this little marriage challenge challenging? If not, yas kween slay! But if yes, I get it girl. Biblical marriage is a challenge and simultaneously God’s perfect design for us. 

The Lord has taught me via The Wilderness!™ that if I want my husband to be a better partner, I have to put in all of the effort myself. When I feel better for a short period, that means my methods are obviously working and I can sell them.

One little thing here and there. The small challenges add up and then suddenly you look back and think “Woah, I don’t even know who I am anymore!” That’s because my identity should lie in complete and utter servitude to others. I am not a person with an individual identity. I am my husband’s helper. Isn’t that wonderful and beautiful? I’m so glad I rejected the choice feminism offers.

Don’t stop with the little things and most importantly- NEVER address the bigger issues. Your journey through The Wilderness!™ will make you holy and God will magically resolve all of your problems if you just submit harder. Be patient. Trust the Lord. The Lord will fix it.

Remember that who you love is a choice and I choose to love my husband a little bit every single day. Think of The Wilderness!™ as a conversion therapy into loving your husband more. Love is a chore, not a feeling.

If you absolutely loved this challenge and see some significant changes in your depression, consider buying the full course! For $50 I can teach you how to self flagellate yourself into complete submission. How will this help you leave The Wilderness!™ you ask? How does any of this actually lead to happiness within yourself? The Lord will fix it, not me.