Whatssup fam, it's ya boi Pete here, inline skater extraoirdinaire in the making! No cap 67!
I'm using my wive's blog to give you my in-depth and insightful review of Jimmy Dyson's new Album: The Violence of Jesus. There is only one way I can sum it up and that's "Woah!🔥"
So who is this pioneer of angry christian rap?
Jimmy Dyson is a white man who identifies as a self-hating black man with interesting taste in facial hair. His main interests are Jesus, guns and triggering the libs. His rap career has been... a struggle, relying on infamy to spread the Good Word of the Lord. His lyricism is on a level BEYOND DESCRIPTION as he is able to convey powerful messages with a limited and repetitive vocabulary. Sometimes the lyrics rhyme.
And let me tell you, there is nothing more powerful than a true demonstration of Jesus' love by obsessively reminding gay people they will burn for eternity. Also guns. Man, this guy loves guns. The phallic symbol of the holy automatic rifle.
So let's get started with his most SEVERELY genius album yet.
The cover art is a stunningly patriotic piece of art, clearly AI, with Jimmy in the center, sitting on a fallen lib with blue hair, his favorite emotional support AR15 prominently standing between his legs. His facial hair looks a little smoother than normal. His face is an expression of pure rage, reddened from uncontrolled emotions. He is sporting some aviator shades on his head and a black hoodie with a large silver cross printed on it, so you know this is a Jesus honoring album. Fire fills the skies in the background. American soldiers can be seen firing into a crowd, the flag, now ragged, flies high above Jimmy's head, a symbol of defiance, that America will stand for Jesus no matter how many people will be mowed down. A powerful portrait of what being a good Christian means now.
The Violence of Jesus has seven tracks, because that's the extent of his creative limit. The track list is as follows:
1. I Love My Gun
2. I'm Not Gay
3. Pull the Triggered
4. Grooming for Jesus
5. Erase Mark 12:30-31
6. Holy Blood Lust
7. Holy Blood Lust
I Love My Gun is a three and a half minute track about the love between a man and his gun. The structure is simple with every second line simply being the title of the song. Jimmy raps with all the rage in his little cold heart about how if he can't marry his gun, then gay people can't marry each other. The lyrics are beautiful with such lines as "I love my gun, it makes me feel well endowned. I love my gun. It's so big, that's what she said." It's a powerful first track, his scream rapping crescendoing into the sounds of an AR15 blasting in the background. It is an erotic climax. What a way to start an album!
Track two is I'm Not Gay. The flow is essentially identical to track one, the essential difference being in the lyrics themselves. I'm Not Gay is a personal story where Jimmy yells about how he has a wife and a gun to prove how heterosexual he is. My personal favorite verse is about his "gender affirming gun." Some of the other lyrics are unintelligible as I'm pretty sure he started crying midway through. Absolute fire. This man is not afraid to show his emotions, mainly rage, but he is certainly afraid of being gay.
Pull the Triggered is more of a spoken word piece with beats. It's eleven minutes long which begins with around half a minute of rapping and the rest angry ranting about the libs and his raging boner to commit atrocities against his own countrymen. The track experiments with smashing glass as percussion. Around the six minute mark some police sirens are heard and the song fades out soon after some commotion. After several minutes of silence the final lyric is "Oh shit, it's still recording."
Grooming for Jesus is track four. It is a two minute track, the shortest on the album, but perhaps one of the most impactful, and features his young son while Jimmy, his voice now blown out from scream rapping, raspily yells "Amen" offbeat. The song is a template Jimmy Dyson track with the usual themes, reminding children that gay people will burn for eternity. I really felt the love of Christ in this track. Jimmy really demonstrated his bravery here.
Erase Mark 12:30-31 is a lackluster retelling of the Book of Mark to reflect the current political climate. At one point the song switches from rapping, to a deep heavy metal death-growl, as he cries about how outdated the New Testament is. Using the Bible as inspiration this way is a really powerful reminder beyond words of how devoted a Christian Jimmy is. Of course a Jimmy Dyson song would not be complete without reference to his beloved gun and a reminder that he's not gay. There's also a music video to go with this track, the tight budget is obvious. He clutches his emotional support gun throughout the whole thing. Very alpha stuff.
Track six is Holy Blood Lust, three minutes long and is an aggressively rapped manifesto of how America should be violently forced to become a Biblical led nation. It's perhaps Jimmy's most masculine work to date. I'm pretty sure he was actually replaced by a different vocalist at some point because his voice was too gender affirmed by all the rap screaming. This is the track that features the album title within the lyrics "the violence of Jesus runs in my blood," thereby tying this masterpiece altogether.
Track seven is just Holy Blood Lust again, the exact same track. I guess he needed some filler.
So what can I say? This is truly a brilliant God honoring heterosexual album. It transcends ordinary rap (and at some points heavy metal) and delivers the most important teachings of Jesus straight into the hearts of angry men to make them angrier. It is a blessed piece, perhaps the most important album ever created, more important than his other albums. Everyone needs to hear Jimmy's powerful messages of masculine rage in the name of Jesus. It should be played in churches. Every faux wannabe warrior will feel the power in the lyricism, the fury at liberals and the eroticism of the gun.
Anyway, 8.32/10
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