The Blessing of Never Being Good Enough for Your Husband

I'm never good enough for my husband and that is a holy blessing. 

Even Godly marriages are unrequited. While you may be absolutely devoted to your husband, you should never expect this to be reciprocated. This is the natural order of things. The wife devotes herself and submits to her husband and her husband devotes himself to God. 

As a woman, my entire worth as a human and of my eternal soul is the workings of my vagina: who goes in and who comes out. Before marriage, we devote ourselves fully to a life devoid of natural human emotions, most of all- horniness. In fact, a woman should never even think about her genitals. There's a reason God designed them to be tucked away nicely. This body part is holier than all the other parts and therefore taboo. A perfect design that should be ignored until the permitted moment.

A woman must never acknowledge that she can be sexually attracted to anyone, not even her future husband who she has been engaged to and courting for four days. This is why it is safer, recommended even, to choose a husband who you do not sexually desire and that way you never have to worry about pre-marital temptations. Come the wedding day, the moment the magic words "you may kiss the bride" are uttered, you will be transformed into the sex kitten God has designed you to be. A true miracle if you Jesused hard enough.

Of course, once the honeymoon period is over, when you finally get to bang every night, the marriage settles and suddenly, as three month newlyweds, the marital bliss- the happily ever after, that you have been promised your entire life has already faded into the past. In fact, was the bliss even really there? Or were you just excited to finally have your wedding day and get in the sheets? Is this it now? Is this life forever now?

Three years later you find yourself stuck at home, plagued by the burden of changing every single diaper your five children have ever worn and there's another on the way. Your husband has never helped because, as Jesus preached, raising children is a woman's job: "A father shallt not bathe his children nor shallt he spoon feed or rock them to sleep, for he may catch the gay." And as we know, there is nothing more homosexual than a man helping out his wife and children. 

Biblical truths are not supposed to be easy, they're supposed to drag us through The Wilderness™ so we can be holier than others. That is how we win at life. As the Bible clearly states somewhere: a marriage is akin to martyrdom. It makes a woman the equivalent of Jesus, while contradictorily submitting to the husband as if he were also Jesus. 

Let me tell you about my husband. Sure, I may not sexually desire him much, but that is what makes him a wonderful man. I see past his appearance and see only his devotion to the Lord. He is incredibly intellectually superior, something he likes to modestly show off to others, meaning he is always correct. Unlike myself, defined only by my vagina, he is permitted by the Lord to be defined by his intellect, his achievements and how much he can impress others. My husband isn't a sperm provider, he is his own person. He is blessed to have hobbies, intense obsessive interests that financially burden the family, to be pampered at home, to have everything he wants. He cannot be inconvenienced in any way because I, his wife, am the convenience.

Sometimes, I do envy that my husband is recognized as a fully rounded person and not just by how many children he has. Some of his female colleagues don't even know he has children... or a wife. This is the blessing of being a wife- you will always be humbled by him, knowing you will never be as successful, as smart or as free as him. You don't need to be so three dimensional as a wife, you just need to focus on one thing- one single thing (look how lucky you are!), being the perfect wife.

Now as we know, especially when we see perfection portrayed on social media, which is definitely an accurate reflection of reality, it can seem impossible to achieve such high standards. Chasing this ideal can seem unsustainable and perhaps even harmful. But you have to remember one thing: the Lord! The Lord always has high standards and you should not let yourself slip as a Christian woman now that the going is getting tough. If you want happily ever after, girl, you've gotta work harder than ever before and consistently until death do you part.

As a man who is always led by the Lord, he is always reminding me of God's standards and the standards he expects from a wife. Sometimes he will admit that I lack ambition like he does. He is, after all, on his way to becoming an internationally recognized inline skater in his late 30's and that's certainly not something I'm trying to do. I know I need to improve my own grindset and work the grift harder because finances are temporarily tight until the millions start coming in soon. Being reminded of my lack of ambition is a direct message from the Lord. Only through my husband will I hear the words of God spoken from a man. Whatever he says, God is saying. This is the Lord giving me a kick up the old behind and it motivates me to do better, to keep chasing perfection, to reach God's standard.

I am truly blessed to be reminded, sometimes constantly depending on his mood, that I am inadequate in this marriage. Hearing the Lord through my husband satisfies an emptiness in me, reminding me that I am responsible for my own shortcomings and emotions. My husband is blessed by the Lord by eventually getting everything he wants, including unimaginable wealth very soon because he is already perfect. I want to achieve this too. I want to achieve this perceived level of contentment that my husband is on his way to receiving.

So how do I do this? I wife harder. I screw my husband every single day to improve communication. I'm sure we'll start seeing the results of this soon. I get up at 5am like the grindsetters do because it makes me appear disciplined. I spend my very little free time working on the next course to shill. I remind myself that none of what I do will not make me happy until I have endured the Wild™ and done the necessary work to come out of the other end.

But most importantly, grinding myself into the ground will ultimately make my husband resist temptation of his hot young inline skating girl friends. The Lord warns me everyday by reminding me through my husband's condescending remarks. If I put in the work, then maybe we will actually experience marital bliss for the first time. My whole faith in my religion depends on this. What if none of it is true?

So anyway...

If you feel like you're not good enough for your husband, sign up to my Wilderness Wifey Course!

Hurry now because it is SELLING out fast! Now only $49.97!